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Many recovering alcoholics and drug addicts have problems with their sexual and relationship life.Even though they have been in 12-step recovery, they may still have problems with intimate relating.Intellectualizing This can take various forms in which the alcoholic uses semi-logical argument as to why they cannot or need not do anything about a problem. to feel helpless and hopeless about changing how they relate to intimacy and relationships.They argue that they have already worked a program and that there is nothing more they can do. Recovering alcoholics and drug addicts often have little or no experience with healthy intimate relationships.Minimizing This is the tendency to see anything to do with sex and relationships as relatively minor and harmless.The alcoholic/addict may argue that behaviors like compulsive porn use, preoccupation with online hook-ups, or frequent visits to prostitutes are not nearly as risky or life threatening as chemical dependency.

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What they fail to see is that the sexually compulsive behavior is a drug in its own right and has the same roots and their chemical dependency.Their primary relationship has been with a chemical and they are most often avoidant of true intimacy.In the early months of recovery, you’ve given up a lot — your go-to coping strategy, your social network, your approach to life.This grandiosity is a part of a narcissistic defense system that many addicts have and that covers up a sense of inferiority.It can also take the form of machismo and sexism in which recovering alcoholics or addicts may engage in seductive and sexually predatory behavior toward people in their recovery groups.Safety can be of even greater concern for the 40 million people dating online where it’s easy to hide behind anonymity, make up personas and date multiple people at the same time.

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