Once you take the sexual plunge it’s hard to swim back towards shore against the tide.2) We all want to make good impressions with our love interests.It’s incumbent upon all of us to continuously make judgments as to whether our dates actions are consistent with their words.
When you process these interactions with your date is your reality in the same ballpark as his?
It’s hard enough to make an intelligent and reasonable judgment about selecting a partner without complicating the matter further.
Just keep in mind as you go through the process what kind of stepparent your love interest might be to your kids.
I can’t count how many times I have heard inside and outside of my private practice things like: “he was an angel until he moved in and then, became a tyrant, “ or “She gave me so much freedom to be myself until we got engaged and then, she wanted to know my whereabouts every hour of the day” or “He was great with my kids until we got married and then, he became jealous and envious to the point of hating them.”In summary, to ensure that you are not blinded by the uncontaminated fantasies about a potential partner which assume lives of their own early on in relationships when there is little history together, clear boundaries, and infrequent contacts, please consider the following recommendations before you make any commitments and go beyond the point of no return.1) It’s human nature to wish to possess that which holds the potential to satisfy powerful yearnings.
I urge all of you out there to consider staying out of bed as long as is possible and to do your best not to lavish your dates with expressions of infatuation which may be confused by both of you with expressions of love. The ocean may look very inviting however, if there is an undertow you simply must refrain from getting in to deep until it subsides.
Looking for a new partner, however, can be downright frightening.