You can sometimes identify a Daniel Cleaver by the power of social media: his Facebook profile is locked down tighter than that of an MI5 agent, yet his status updates are “liked” by reams of women and rarely any men. The commitment-phobe These are the guys who you might describe as serial-monogamists.
If you met him on a dating website, the minute you ask him if you two can become “exclusive”, he’ll block you (claiming that he has deleted his profile) so that you can’t see his dating activity. They genuinely do want to find “the one” but regardless of how many well-suited women they date, the relationship never lasts. The Pervert Probably an unfair description, but as the Bridget Jones system of classification is working, I’ll stick with it for now.
Kids: Someone who is divorced (depending on his age) most likely has kids, which means he will feel a little bit more comfortable with your kids. Nakedness in broad daylight, those annoying habits, likes clothes all over the floor, the burping and farting you never experience when you’re dating, and really the way the person lives. He’s not bashing his ex every three days, he’s not saying good-bye to his kids and then having that sad look on his face, and he doesn’t have that wounded look that says, “My wife ruined my life.” The never been married guy is fresh, untainted. Commitment: There’s commitment and then there’s commitment. He stood in front of God or a judge and a crowd of people and agreed to commit in writing. Both divorced guys and guys who have never been married can be amazing guys. In other words, I’m not saying one is better than the other.
Remember, there are some guys who have never been married who have kids, and there are some guys who have never been married but have dated a lot of women with kids, so they might be used to being around kids. The ability to be domestic, in other words, can he play house? Although, how do I know he wasn’t madly in love and then dumped? A guy who has never done that could have a commitment issue. There are advantages and disadvantages to both guys.
Wouldn’t you wonder why he hadn’t married by age 45 or 55?
I’m sure there are equally damning perceptions from both sides of that particular fence. But you’re asking yourself how he has managed to avoid a committed, semi-successful relationship thus-far and whether you should therefore be seriously considering him as a prospect?
then she dropped this requirement on me, “This I know for sure …
I am not interested in dating anyone who has been divorced.” My initial response was one of shock, and I asked, “Why would you want to date a man who has never been married before?
He’s more than likely well-paid and well-respected, and obsessed with demonstrating his success at life-in-general through status symbols. Their love for each other was intense, to the exclusion of all rational thought. Either way, you’ll know it’s time to take your leave when you get the feeling that he’s never going to get his kicks without a touch of deviance that is a little outside your comfort zone.
He’ll have a nice car, he’ll own a nice house, and wear decent suits. Far be it from me to criticise anyone’s bedroom antics, but you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s never married because he’s never found a wife who is willing to explore his deviances (and “special toys”) for the next three or four decades.
But he subconsciously pushes against togetherness due to the phobia of losing some control, independence, sense of self, or the horror that is a woman who might leave the scatter cushions in the wrong order. The workaholic This is the man who defines himself by his job. He may even have been engaged to the love of his life but, whether through circumstance, ill judgement, or even by having loved a woman who simply did not return his love, he can never again find a woman who can match up to “her”. Perhaps you’re locked in a passionate, post-dinner snog, when suddenly he refers to you as his “little bitch”.